:P

First post in awhile. I didn't mean to go so long without posting, but the past week has been pretty much a total mess. Well, disorganized, anyway. Very. And things have yet again changed, but really, things never really do change. My life is just a constant cycle of the same things happening over and over again.

But guess what? Within a year, I'm going to break that cycle! I know a year sounds like a long time, but it's 6 months for sure, and then however many months we have before L...well, before he does the thing that's going to last for 6 months. We're not sure how long it'll be before that, but I'm guessing anywhere from 1 to 3 months from now. Maybe 4. So it'll be less than a year--that's all I know for sure. Probably around 9 or 10 months. Then we are OUT of Maine!

Not only have things been changing a lot, but I've also been sick this past week with something--I'm not sure what. All I know is I started off feeling really rundown, and then I started to feel sick off and on and lost my appetite (which may just be because of what happened while I was staying with my cousin...). I also had high anxiety for 3 or 4 days, and I know why, but thankfully that's gone now. And then, once everything wore off except for feeling rundown, I developed an ear infection (I think) and a migraine that comes off and on. This has lasted for a few days now, but today has been the first day I haven't really gotten it, so I think that's just about gone, too.

These all may have been caused by me actually being sick, or they may have been reactions to the huge changes I've experienced suddenly. What are those changes, you ask? Well, first, I stayed with my cousin and her boyfriend last weekend for the first time after not seeing her for a long time. It was pretty decent, I guess. Except all she wanted to do was talk badly about L, and well, I had no choice but to agree with everything she said, even though in reality I disagree. See, if she knew I still care about him, I don't think she'd be as pleasant with me as she is.

And the other huge change (which isn't really a change at all, considering I knew it was going to happen) is that L is back in my life. But did he ever really leave? No... it was just odd how we started talking again, and odd how I just knew exactly how he still felt, and odd how nothing's really changed now... it's the same as it normally is with us--the same way with each other, which is a good thing.

I can't wait to go snowsledding with him again, hopefully within a few days, when my dad leaves and when L gets some gas money, which he should have by the time Dad's left.

I also have to tell Dad that not only am I talking to L again, but I'm also going to be seeing him again. He'll let me, but I'm sure he won't like it. He never liked L and I'm not sure how he's going to act now. But I do know my father is an obnoxious jerk, more often than not. Oh well, I'm not 8 years old anymore and you know what, he should be proud of me for NOT getting into drugs like everyone else around here! And for doing so well already... he can't complain. And he wouldn't tell me no anyway, not after everything L and I have been through together. He'll let me... I just don't want to hear it from him anymore, honestly. But he'll get over it, just like he did last time. Again, he's got to realize I'm almost an adult now and I would do it anyway. Authority doesn't have a problem with it, so I'm good.

Well I'm developing another headache... crap. So I'm going to end this here. Let's see what goes on in the next few days, shall we? And let's see if my blog posts itself this time! Ha.